“Listening Party of Three”


Listening Party of Three was made months after “It Will Be Okay, Quarantine No.10”. In that timeframe both my grandmother and grandfather had passed away, and for a while had no ability to create art. In their passing, I lost parts of myself I did not even know I had. When we lose our family members, we lose chunks of time and memory that only they knew. Lived experience is collectively kept, shared, and retold. When we lose someone who has been witness to our lives, there is a part that irrevocably goes missing. I watched WandaVision around this time, and I broke down when Vision told Wanda: “what is grief, if not love persevering?” 

All the questions I will never be able to ask. All the things I will never be able to share. I finally got a tomato plant to grow, but the cardinals wrecked it. I found a photo of us from my 3rd birthday, do you remember the vanilla cake you made? In all the loss, in all the grief, in all the change I shut down. Shattered. Pulled deeply inward.

A part of my creative practice is playing piano. I love looking at the sheet music and feel victorious anytime I manage to Frankenstein a song together. During the height of my grief I stopped painting and focused on music. I obsessively oscillated between “Hallelujah” by Leonard Cohen and “Take Five” by the David Brubeck Quartet. When I began painting again, it was the music this time that led the emotional state I was in. 

In Listening Party of Three, three people gather to enjoy listening to music. Maybe they are in a smoky lounge, sinking into sound. Maybe they are all strangers, still a little nervous to be too close to one another. Maybe they are family, joined together across time and space, enjoying something beyond words. 

Additional information


10" x 30", 31" x 63", 43" x 87"